Love: an Exploratory Paper
Love: An Exploratory Paper Leanna M. Benny July 25th, 2011 The Purpose Love is said to be the greatest human experience in which mankind are privilege to partake in. To love can be a wondrous experience filling life with bliss and other strong emotions. Some people believe to love is to be alive and be able to see the good in the world and others.
The purpose of this paper is to examine and find a better understanding of what is love, to explore what people believe love to be, and what lies surround the perception of love and to explore and expose what the meaning true love is or at the very least the authors understanding of the perception of love. In addition to exploring the concept, deception and the truth of love, one man’s perspective of what love is will be examined and aid in a better understand of what true love is. The Concepts Love does not have to exist with marriage but can coexist with marriage as long as the love is not deprived by the marriage.
During the research process, the word unconditionally has a recurring theme through all the writing on what is love. Some believe that any love that is with conditions is not actually love. To love someone is to love that person for the person they are today and tomorrow despite flaws and mistakes that may occur, according to The Meaning of Love’s article on What is the true meaning of Love?. Love is not about the possession of another person, nor is it rooted in jealousy. To love unconditionally is to love a person with the absence of jealous and to love freely and allow each other to share love freely.
An example of this concept is a person who loves unconditionally allows his or her lover to love unconditionally, even if this meant loving another outside the couple hood. Unconditionally love cannot be contained in a box of a conventional marriage. Unconditional love is infinite and is not rooted in physical attributes as relations or the desire to procreate but exist on a spiritual level of understanding (The Meaning of Love, 2011). Another source that provides some similarity to this concept of what is Love is that of the Jewish religion.
Gila Manolson explains within her article that Love is the attachment that results from a deep appreciation of another’s goodness. It is the ability to look passes the flaws and embraces the goodness within another person (Manolson, 2011). It describe love as active, and that it can be created by looking into another person and seeing what makes him or her who he or she are and places value on the goodness in that person. This type of love is unconditional and rooted in a spiritual profound source of love. By focusing on the goodness in others, you can almost love anyone.
The Article continues to express that the best way to love is to be a loving person who gives, not material objects, but to give of a person self to another in happiness and understanding. In the belief that true love requires true giving, giving is explained by being other-oriented that employs the use of four elements: ?Caring: Demonstrating an active concern for another well-being and growth ? Responsibility: Responding to the needs of others ?Respect: The ability to see another as they are and appreciate that person for his or her individuality ?
Knowledge: Understanding of another personality The Different Types of Love During the research of this subject, I was fortunate enough to find an article written Alex C of Seeker of Truth. In his article, he describes what he calls the three different types of love. Love between a child and mother is not the same of love experienced by lovers. According to the author of this article, the three types of love are called Eros, Philos, and Agape (Alex C. , 2005). Eros Love Eros love is also known as erotic love. This type of love is based on strong overwhelming feelings toward another person.
This type of love usually occurs in the early stages of a romantic relationship between two people. This type of love also can be defined, from my understanding as lust. It is based more on the attraction of physical traits. This form of love is the weakest because once this infatuation fades, the people involved fallout of love. Another weakness of this type of love is that it is purely self-beneficial, for example is if a person would state, “I love you because you make ME happy. ” A recurring theme in conversation when a person speaks of this type of love is the word, me.
Even though this type of love seems shallow, it is essential in the early stages of a relationship to drive both individual to have the desire to know each other and strengthen the bond between two people. Although this type of love is natural at a start of a relationship it is important to not rely solely on this pure emotion of bliss and happiness without the balance of logic. Philos love Philos love is a love rooted in a friendship. When a romantic relationship develops out of one that begin as a friendship between two people this relationship usually last longer.
A deep friendship is the foundation found in many successful relationships. This type of love takes place in not only romantic relationships, but also the relationship of family, co-workers, employers, and so fore. For this research, the focus is on the relationship between romantic partners, Philos love allows two people to better know each other, understand each other and appreciate the personal attribute of each other before committing into a deeper (more serious) relationship that is above friendship. The author, Alex C.
Explains this type of love as starts out of friends, then admire each other with the develop over time into a deeper love where both party notice the absence of each other, and begin to miss the other person present more often (Alex C. , 2005). Unlike Eros love that is solely based on a strong emotion and only being shown the good quality of each person, Philos love is based on a “give and take” where two people benefit mutually in varies way from each other. Being giving and taking equally is important in this type of love, and the concern that each partner is benefiting is essential to each partner.
It can be statement in truth that Philos love is a higher type of love then Eros, where love is not just based on a strong emotion experienced before the understanding and appreciation of both partners that is gained from the pervious and continuing friendship. Agape (Unconditional Love) Agape love is a more technical term for the unconditional love. Agape is the highest form of love placed above Eros and Philos. This type of love is completely selfless; it is a love that is given without conditional and no benefits. When a person loves someone even when the love is not return to him or her, yet that love continues.
A mother’s love is often described as this type of love. This is personally true. A mother will love her child and does everything within her power to help, nurture, protect and provide for her child, even if her child is unruly and behaves badly toward her. A child’s love for a parent can be very similar when the role reverse as old age prevents a parent from caring for him or herself. This caring is done with or without anything in return. Alex C. Describe Agape love as being the highest form of love, that is not human at all but exist on a divine plane that is spiritual in all forms of unconditional caring and loving of humanity.
An example of this would be a love of a God for his children, such as the Christian faith. Another exceptional example of this type of love is also portrayed through the Christian faith belief that God sent his one and only son to die and suffer for the sins of god’s children. Jesus being God’s son, had no obligation to die for his father’s children’s sin, but he gave of himself freely without benefit in return to suffer for the salvation of his people. In the Bible, is a definition of love that embodies this concept of nconditional love in First Corinthians 13:4-8 that states “Love is patient, Love is kind, It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, and it keeps no records of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trust, always hopes, and always perseveres. Love never fails” Essentially, Eros Love is physical love, Philos is mental love, and agape is spiritual love. Each type of love is fundamental elements in building a relationship and in the existence of man.
To thrive, humankinds need each type of love, as each love is an element of man: Physical, mental, and spiritual (Alex C. , 2005) The Deception I mention that there is a deception to what many people believe to be love. Through my research this deception can come from an overwhelming strong emotion that is felt in the early stages of a relationship that is not further explore in logic before committing into a more serious relationship and investing to much of one’s self in a relationship rooted in the falsehood of Eros love that is based on the physical.
Many marriages that derive from this type of overwhelming, strong emotion usually fails because of the lack of time invested in knowing each other’s true self. The Truth The truth of love is that there are different forms of love, and stages. The most powerful and truest form being agape, unconditional love. In my experience, I believe I have only developed this kind of love for my child. For him, he is the air I breathe each day, the reason to raise in the morning, and the keeper of my soul.
To him I give completely of myself, my love, my sacrifice, and my ending caring and nurturing. I often find myself thinking and saying, “That without him, there is no life fore he is life” Love is essential to the well-being of all human life, it what drives the desire to achieve and succeed. To love unconditional is to learn to love with the absences concern of self. True love is selfless, to give without the thought of benefit to oneself. To be able to love in such a profound, ever-giving unconditional way is the highest spiritual achievement a person can aspire too.
This is the love of the most enlighten and the strong, that has the strength to think pass themselves and give so freely to others. This is the love that I one day hope to aspire to. An Outside Perspective “My views of love have changed a lot of recently, to start I believe there’s a lot of different loves one can experience for others and it differs between people. No one love is the same, just like people, plants, and animals, the love of a parent, child, friend relative, and even a pet. They are all different and in their own way, precious.
The main type of love I am explaining about is the love of a companion, girlfriend or wife. Explaining a concept that for century’s people has been trying to figure out. , What I believe or nay, what I feel is love, hell true love is a person that no matter how you feel you can look at and smile, look at and see possibilities in the future, looks (Physical appearances) have nothing to do with this love because looks are superficial, A person’s appearance does not matter in regards to true love.
People are always changing from jewelry, clothing, and physical appearance, even more so with surgery that can alter one’s appearance. If it is love it doesn’t matter how your lovers look. Someone that does not have to say anything to enjoy their company but when something is said you enjoy it no matter how trivial it may be. When your apart that person is on your mind, when you’re faced with decisions, you have to consider these feelings towards the decision and that person.
Even when just wondering how they are and what they are up to, sometime just a walk or any random act is enjoyable to do because you’re doing it together. You will to do anything you can for that person to provide, protect, help, and even just make them smile. You will have the desire strength and determination to strive for better for that person and yourself. This person would be someone you want to travel the world with and experience everything with and doing everything to incorporate their like’s interest family and friends into who you are.
You will do everything to feel the passion and desire of life into each other sexually, physically, emotionally, and mentally. Through all the fights and turmoil of loving another person, you strive through it and work out the problems and keep changing for yourself and your lover. I’m probably missing things but that’s the basics in my own perception but the biggest thing is longevity because sadly we are humans, ever evolving, ever thinking, and as time passes you drift apart, feeling may start to lesson, even the thought of your lover on your mind and some of the other things above.
The Reality is that the nature of our world kicks in work, school, children, and even our own time alone to do the most trivial things present the true test is of love that no matter how drab it feels and at times distant, to look at that person and realize what’s going on and make take the necessary time to rekindle and keep the love strong. Sadly, I fear I learnt this too late but this is only my look on Love. I hope this helps anyone that reads this if anyone at all. ” Conclusion In conclusion, I would like to share a poem that I have carry through the years with me, which once touch my soul and embody itself into my life, as a part of me.
This poem is rooted in the concept that love is the beauty that transforms the beast. Unfortunately, the author of this poem is unknown to me, lost throughout the years yet I still would like to contribute a great appreciation to the author whose word showed such understanding and depth of what is love. My favorite thing about this poem is how it display how each stage of love can lead to the next with the care, time, and patience of developing a relationship into agape, unconditional, never-dying love. Love comes in like the night
Can sweep you away with one kiss Or the glorious voice of its forbidden bliss Love can take your breath away By a stranger who comes in disguise Or the warmth capture of truthful eyes Love can answer the deepest thoughts When not afraid to search the soul Only then will it master the deepest cold Love can be the beauty The forgives and transforms the beast It is love when love does not crease ~Author Unknown~ Reference C. , Alex. (2005). The 3 types of love. Retrieved from http://theseekeroftruth. blogspot. com