Healthy Relationships Interpersonal Communication Dawn Wissinger September 7th, 2011 ABSTRACT To have a healthy relationship you must learn how to make that happen. There are five guidelines that must occur in order to make a relationship successful. When these guidelines are applied to personal, social, and professional relationships then you will be able to create a healthy one and maintain that relationship. Below you will read which ones I have found personally worked for me and how they can help anyone who is willing.
HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS When building up relationships you must learn to accept and confirm others. When I first met Josh I wanted him to like me for me. I wanted to be accepted by him for the person that I am and I knew I wanted to accept him for the person he was. At first it was not easy because he had what I thought was a lot of flaws and he told me that I had a lot of animosity towards men that it was hard to accept me. However, after we both realized that our flaws were what made us who we are we were able to accept them in each other.
Josh confirmed that he accepted me by showing me that he could help me to see not all guys were the same and I showed Josh that I accepted him by acknowledging those flaws and still loving him. Another way that we confirmed each other was by talking about what we wanted and needed in our relationship. We would set aside time where we could just talk and let each other know what we thought they needed to. Now in the beginning of the relationship this was so easy for us but in the past months we have noticed that we have not done as much confirming so we are planning a few trips so we can reconnect and keep the relationship strong.
In my social relationships, in the past, I would make sure to let everyone I hung out with know that they were valuable and I had a tendency of just going with the flow even if I did not want to do what the crowd was doing. This was because I did not think that my opinion was important if it was different from the crowd. After so many years of just “going with the flow” I got tired of always doing things and going places that did not interest me so I started stepping up and speaking up.
I realized that I was just as valuable as my friends and so were my opinions. I became more assertive and started expressing how I felt and what I wanted. Now I do not hold back when asked what I think about an activity. I realized that I have a voice and that if I use my words carefully in the right way while standing strong then I would not be walked on anymore. When you are in any type of relationship you must first realize that you are still you. You have a voice and you should not be afraid to use it. This goes for any type of relationship.
Often times I hear people say they did something only because their boyfriend/girlfriend or friends wanted to do it. All I can say is: be assertive in situations like this. There is a difference between being assertive and being aggressive. When you are aggressive you are pushing another person’s feelings aside and stating that what you want and feel is all that is important. When you are assertive you are stating that you accept what they have offered or said but you feel another way. The final guideline that has worked in my relationships is responding constructively to criticism.
In my jobs I have had to receive criticism at different times and while some of the words I heard made me mad or made me feel like I was failing I realized that if I did not learn how to accept the criticism and use it to fix the issues I would not be able to succeed professionally. When someone criticizes your work you must first decide if the criticism is valid or if it is just ones way of putting you down. If the criticism is just to put you down I recommend that you just tell the person “thank you for your opinion” and then go on with your work.
However, if it is valid then you should take it with “a grain of salt” and learn from it. Criticism can help you to progress in your future but you must take it in a positive way. No one like being told what they are doing wrong but if you never hear it then you may never learn what you can improve on. Bibliography Wood, J. T. (2010). Guidelines for Creating and Sustaining Healthy Climates. In J. T. Wood, Interpersonal Communications: Everyday Encounters (pp. 211-216). Boston: Wadsworth.